Shattered
by Lady Arreya
Summary: B'Elanna starts having flashbacks of Jora Mirell's memories. AU, P/T.
1. Chapter 1

Originally written Oct/Nov 1998

Title: Shattered  
Rating: M  
Summary: B'Elanna starts having flashbacks of Jora Mirell's memories. AU, P/T.

A/N: Thanks to Julie for beta-reading.

This story has nothing to do with the 7th season episode of the same name. It was written long before that episode aired.

Historian's note: Part 1 takes place 3rd season, after "Future's End." Part 2 takes place 4th season, after "Concerning Flight," and continues on through "Mortal Coil" (with a little reference to "Waking Moments" at the end).

* * *

Part 1

In the stillness of the warm summer night, a young woman lay fast asleep in her bed. The only light was that of the silvery moonlight filtering through the window. Suddenly, a knock on the window woke her. She jumped out of bed to open the shutters and greet her lover. He climbed through the window, hauling her into his embrace. They kissed feverishly as he carried her to the bed...

B'Elanna awoke with a start. She frowned. She hadn't had that dream in a while, not since the Enarans had left. Why was she having it again now?

* * *

"Captain's log, Stardate 50334.7. We've encountered an alien race known as the Zendiron. They are technologically advanced, and their mental powers are beyond anything we've ever seen – the Zendirons are telekinetic. They seem eager to trade with us, so I've invited them on board Voyager to begin negotiations."

Captain Janeway left her ready room, lost in thought. The Zendirons were expecting her to meet them in the mess hall. Fascinating species, she thought to herself. The Zendirons resembled humans in appearance, except for their smaller stature, larger eyes and heads. That was due to their telekinetic powers, as the Doctor had explained. At first, she had been concerned about the dangers of random objects flying around the ship, but the Zendirons had reassured her that they would refrain from using their telekinesis in crowded areas.

In the mess hall, the crew had gathered to welcome the Zendiron delegation. The captain surveyed the room with a smile. Neelix had gone out of his way to prepare for the arrival party. She spotted Chakotay deep in conversation with the Zendiron ambassador and immediately headed in that direction.

On the other side of the room, B'Elanna was conversing with a young, enthusiastic Zendiron engineer named Adael. He reminded her a little of Ensign Freddie Bristow, who was sitting beside him. Adael and Freddie hadn't exactly hit it off, though. Every few moments, they would shoot suspicious glances at each other.

At the moment, Adael was explaining the telekinetic powers of the Zendiron people. Bristow listened impassively with an occasional nod, clearly unimpressed. B'Elanna tried to focus on what Adael was saying, but her mind kept wandering. She just couldn't chase the vague impressions of the dream out of her head. There had been something different about the dream this time, but she couldn't quite place it.

B'Elanna shook her head distractedly. She had to stop thinking about it. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Tom and Harry sitting with a group of Zendiron women. One of the Zendiron astrophysicists was blatantly flirting with Tom. For some reason, B'Elanna felt a twinge of annoyance at the sight of that wide-eyed alien woman simpering at Tom.

"I'm going to get some more cake," she said abruptly.

Both Freddie and Adael immediately stood up. "I'll get it for you," they chorused. B'Elanna stifled a laugh as they glared at each other. They had been doing that all evening.

"Actually, I could use some more coffee, too," she interjected before they could start arguing again. "Why don't you get the cake, Adael, and Freddie can get me some more coffee." They nodded, then hurried off to carry out her requests.

B'Elanna shook her head, amazed at the attention that they were paying to her. She knew that Bristow still hadn't gotten over his crush on her, but she hadn't expected that it would be this bad. Worse, Adael seemed to be developing similar feelings for her. B'Elanna was flattered, but their attentions were becoming tiresome. She was grateful for a moment's respite to gather her thoughts. The dream...

"What's a beautiful woman like you doing here all by yourself?" a voice behind her drawled.

Startled, B'Elanna whirled around to find Tom Paris at her side, a little too close for her comfort. She moved back slightly.

"Hi, Tom."

He sat down next to her, in the seat that Freddie had vacated. "Enjoying the party?"

"Mm-hmm. Are you?"

"Definitely. But I'm enjoying it even more in your company," he said with a charming smile. B'Elanna rolled her eyes. It was a typical Paris response.

"Freddie and Adael just went to get me some more coffee and cake," she explained.

He raised an eyebrow. "I noticed. Looks like you've got them at your beck and call."

Her eyes narrowed.

"I don't blame them," he continued. "I'd be at your beck and call, too, if you'd let me."

Disconcerted by the intensity of his gaze, B'Elanna quickly looked away. She felt a familiar fluttering in her stomach but ignored it.

"No thanks," she said sharply. Tom shrugged, unperturbed.

At that moment, Freddie and Adael returned with the coffee and cake. Adael wasn't actually holding the plate of cake, except with his mind, and it hovered eerily in front of him.

Freddie glared at Tom. "Excuse me, Lieutenant, but you're sitting in my seat," he said coldly.

Tom stood up, an amused smile quirking at his lips.

The plate of cake slowly floated to the surface of the table. Unfortunately, Freddie didn't notice the plate's descent as he set the coffee down in its path.

"Ouch!" B'Elanna winced as the hot coffee splashed onto her hand.

Horrified, Freddie and Adael gasped. Tom immediately grabbed her hand to assess the damage.

B'Elanna was too stunned to pull away. Her hand was tingling, but it wasn't because of the burn from the coffee. She drew in a sharp breath as his hands soothingly caressed hers. Their eyes met.

"Doesn't look too bad," Tom was saying. "But you should have it healed right away. Come on, I'll take you to Sickbay." B'Elanna nodded wordlessly, mesmerized by the clarity of those beautiful blue eyes.

Freddie and Adael opened their mouths to protest, but Tom was already leading her out of the Mess Hall.

* * *

In Sickbay, B'Elanna fidgeted as the Doctor ran the dermal regenerator over her hand. Tom had been called back to the Bridge.

"So what's the other problem, Lieutenant?" the Doctor asked as he scanned her with a medical tricorder.

"I've been having those dreams again, Doctor. The same ones I had when the Enarans were here," she began.

"Those weren't dreams, B'Elanna; they were telepathic episodes," he corrected her.

"Whatever."

His forehead wrinkled as he finished scanning her with the tricorder. "Hmmm... I see no reason why you should be experiencing those memories again." The Doctor ran a few more tests. "Well, until I can figure out what's causing this, I want you to wear this neural suppressor when you sleep. It'll prevent the dreams." He carefully attached the disc behind her ear.

"Thanks."

B'Elanna went back to her quarters, lost in thought. The dream. Something had definitely changed since the original dream. She frowned, trying to remember exactly what it was that was different.

She shook her head. It was probably nothing. She decided to just go to sleep and forget about it.

But a few hours later, B'Elanna was still tossing and turning in her bed. She just couldn't figure out what was different about the dream, and that bothered her, because it seemed important. The suspense was making her anxious.

Unable to take it anymore, B'Elanna finally tore off the neural suppressor and settled back into bed.

Almost immediately, the dream began again...

The moonlight bathed the room in an ethereal glow. They finally made it to her bed, still entwined in a passionate embrace. She slid her arms around his neck as he kissed his way down her forehead ridges, the tip of her nose, and finally her mouth. He slipped the straps of her nightgown off of her shoulders while she tugged his shirt off, eager to feel the heat of his naked skin against hers. Their kisses grew more heated as they struggled out of their clothing. She moaned as he caressed her bare breasts and smothered gentle kisses along her throat. He slid his hand lower, murmuring her name...

"B'Elanna... B'Elanna... wake up. B'Elanna!"

She slowly opened her eyes and tried to focus. Chakotay was standing over her, looking worried.

"What are you doing here, Chakotay?" she asked crossly. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep.

"We were supposed to meet for breakfast and go over some reports, remember?" She stared at him blankly. "The Doctor told me that you've been having those dreams again," he continued. "Were you having them again just now? I've been trying to wake you for the past five minutes."

"Oh... I'm sorry. The dream..." She frowned. Something didn't seem right.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "Nothing. I'm sorry about oversleeping. I'll meet you in the Mess Hall, okay?"

Chakotay still looked concerned.

"I'm fine. Really," she reassured him.

"All right..." he said dubiously. "I'll see you in the Mess Hall, then."

After he left, she buried her head in the pillow again. She was irritated that Chakotay had interrupted her dream. Just when it had been getting good. She had to figure out what was different about it this time. It was driving her crazy.

What had happened just before she had woken up? She replayed the dream in her mind, searching for answers.

The man in her dream had also said her name just before she had woken up, she realized. But he hadn't called her Korenna as he had in the original dreams. Instead, he had called her B'Elanna. So that was it. She had been herself this time.

She closed her eyes, trying to remember more. There was more to it than that. The man in her dream had been different, too... Certainly not Dathan. He had seemed so familiar, someone she knew well. Someone from her past? Or someone on Voyager?

He had been considerably taller than her and strong enough to lift her with ease, she recalled with a blush. She could remember every sensuous detail... the weight of his finely toned body on hers, his broad, muscular chest, the tender caresses they had shared, those expressive blue eyes gazing at her with such intensity as he tenderly whispered her name and stoked the fires of passion in her heart...

Her eyes widened as she finally realized who the man in her dream had been...

Tom Paris.

* * *

Chakotay finished another bite of his scrambled Andurian eggs, managing not to grimace. Neelix had been "innovating" again.

"I don't know, Chakotay. The dreams... they're the same, but different." B'Elanna had finally made it to the Mess Hall, but she didn't feel like eating. She felt restless.

Chakotay had another sip of coffee before answering her. "What do you mean, 'the same, but different?'"

B'Elanna fidgeted with her napkin, as she thought about how best to explain the dream without revealing too much. She trusted Chakotay, but this matter was too uncomfortable for her to discuss it that openly.

"B'Elanna?" He looked at her expectantly with patient eyes.

"Well... Parts of it have changed. I mean, the scenario is the same..." Chakotay nodded encouragingly. "But the people are different." She shook her head. "Now I'm myself, and the man in my dream isn't Enaran, he's... he's... someone else."

"Someone else? You mean, like someone on Voyager?" he asked with a hint of a smile.

"I don't want to talk about that," she said abruptly. She crossed her arms and stared at her untouched plate.

Chakotay was curious, but he knew better than to pressure her to talk about it when she was in one of her moods. As they finished breakfast and left the Mess Hall, B'Elanna was still frowning, puzzled by it all.

"Just because he asked me to go sailing with him..." he heard her mutter.

Who is she talking about? Chakotay wondered. He made a mental note to ask around later.

They walked in silence the rest of the way to the conference room.

She didn't know what to make of it. The thought disturbed her. She found herself constantly distracted by the memory of those dreams. Incredibly erotic dreams.

Of all the men on this ship, why do I have to be dreaming about _him_? she asked herself crossly. She wasn't even remotely interested in Paris. Or was she? Of course she wasn't, she told herself unconvincingly. But then, why would she be dreaming about him if she wasn't interested in him?

Was she?

The possibility terrified her.

* * *

Thoroughly annoyed, B'Elanna stood up and walked to the other side of the holodeck to sit under a nearby palm tree. Adael had been demonstrating his telekinetic powers again, moving chairs and plants around the resort program with his mind, but Freddie had scoffed at him. Adael had taken great offense. At the moment, Sue Nicoletti was doing her best to pacify them both.

B'Elanna was fed up with their bickering. She sighed. Adael and Freddie were nice enough, but their excessive devotion irritated her. They were too young and inexperienced for her taste. She needed a real man. Someone who had seen the world, who had experienced life. A man who could understand her, accept her for who she was, and care for her. Someone who could inspire passion and tenderness in her, fulfill her need for companionship, and also satisfy her desires. Someone like... Someone like Tom Paris.

She frowned. Where had that thought come from? That's absolutely ridiculous, she scolded herself. She didn't want to have anything to do with him, romantically. He couldn't be trusted in matters of the heart; Chakotay had always warned her about that. Not that she needed to be warned. She could clearly see that for herself.

So why was she still thinking about him?

B'Elanna settled into the cushions of her lounge chair, remembering what Chakotay had once said about Tom Paris.

"He's a womanizer. He doesn't care about anyone except himself."

Initially, B'Elanna had agreed. Tom certainly behaved like an arrogant pig most of the time.

But then she had seen another side of him. He was capable of such kindness and compassion. Strong, but gentle...

She could imagine his graceful hands running through her hair, gently trailing along her face, caressing her bare shoulders, moving lower...

Alarmed, B'Elanna suddenly sat up. She had been dozing off again. She shook her head, dismayed. The dream had seemed so realistic. Too realistic to forget about it easily.

Looking up, she realized that Freddie and Adael were headed towards her. Apparently, they had finally declared a truce.

"This holodeck program is exquisite!" Adael was saying.

"It's even better when you're not making things fly around," Freddie couldn't resist saying. Adael scowled at him.

Sighing, B'Elanna rubbed her temples. Freddie and Adael were giving her a headache, and the persistent memories of her dream troubled her. She was beginning to feel rather disoriented.

"B'Elanna?" They were both staring at her.

She grimaced slightly as the dizziness threatened to overwhelm her. "I'm sorry. I'm not feeling well..." she said weakly, struggling to stand.

Concerned, Freddie and Adael helped her to her feet.

"Do you want me to take you to Sickbay?" Freddie asked.

"No, no. I'm all right. I'm going back to my quarters." Excusing herself, B'Elanna left the holodeck as Freddie and Adael stared worriedly after her.

* * *

Tom frowned. B'Elanna had been avoiding him more than usual lately. He knew he wasn't her favorite person in the world, but she usually tolerated his presence, at least. But for the past few days she had been behaving strangely around him. He just couldn't figure it out. Maybe she's mad at me or something, he thought idly. No, that couldn't be it. She would have let him know it if she were mad at him. Besides, B'Elanna lost her temper easily, but she didn't stay mad for long. No, this had to be something more serious. But what? he asked himself as he waited for the turbolift. Why was she avoiding him?

The turbolift doors opened, and there she was. He noted the look of dismay on her face as she saw him but decided to ignore it. He stepped into the turbolift. She took a deep breath, willing herself not to think about the sensual dreams she'd been having about him, not to look at him, not to imagine what it would feel like to have his body pressed up against hers in the turbolift...

"Are you okay, B'Elanna?"

She jumped. Their eyes locked.

He was looking at her with considerable concern. "B'Elanna?"

When she didn't answer, he finally said, "Computer, halt turbolift."

She froze, starting to panic.

"B'Elanna, what's wrong? You've been avoiding me all week. Have I done something wrong?"

"No. It has nothing to do with you," she snapped, trying to control her turbulent emotions.

"Then what is it? Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I don't," she informed him icily. He took a step towards her, which alarmed her all the more. She backed as far away from him as possible. "Computer, resume turbolift."

The lift doors opened at her deck and she stalked off, leaving Tom to wonder what was going on.

He shook his head. If he didn't know better, he'd swear that she was almost... afraid of him for some reason.

* * *

_He paused, sensing that he wasn't really getting through to her. _

"_You don't even really know him," she argued. "You'd like him if you got to know him better. I just know it."_

"_Somehow, I doubt it."_

_They weren't getting anywhere, he realized. She was as stubborn as he was. He decided to change tactics._

"_B'Elanna, you promised me you wouldn't see him anymore. He's no good." _

"_But Chakotay..." she protested._

"_I know what's best for you. Do you question my judgment?"_

"_No, of course not," she said hastily. _

"_I'm just looking out for your best interests. I don't want you to get hurt," he said with concern._

"_I know, I know," she sighed. "You're right. I won't see him anymore."_

"_Good," he said approvingly. Chakotay kissed the top of her head paternally. "I've got to get back to work now."_

_B'Elanna nodded and waved good-bye as he left. She breathed a sigh of relief._

"_I thought he'd never leave," Tom said as he came out from his hiding place. She ran over to him, throwing her arms around him. They kissed passionately, disrobing as rapidly as possible. He gathered her in his arms and headed for the bedroom. She wanted nothing more than to lose herself in his loving embrace. _

_But as they collapsed onto her bed, entangled in each other, Chakotay's words came back to her. What if Chakotay's right? asked a little voice inside her head. What if Tom doesn't really care about me? Confused, B'Elanna pulled away from her lover. _

He sensed her hesitation. "What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"_I – I..."_

"_B'Elanna... B'Elanna, I love you," he whispered huskily. That was all she needed to hear. _

"_I love you, too," she murmured, dragging his mouth down to hers for a smoldering kiss. Their love was all that mattered. He settled himself between her thighs once more, driving into her as she gasped. They sank into a desperate, familiar rhythm, panting. _

_She clung to him, crying out as he took her to the heights of ecstasy. "Tom! Oh, Tom..."_

* * *

"B'Elanna?"

She stirred, slowly regaining consciousness.

"B'Elanna? Can you hear me?" Chakotay asked as the Doctor administered another hypospray to her.

She groaned. Her head hurt terribly.

"Tom... " she said groggily. She opened her eyes and looked around in confusion. "What happened?"

"You lost consciousness in Main Engineering," the Doctor said matter-of-factly.

"I couldn't wake you, so we beamed you to Sickbay," Chakotay added. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible."

The Doctor frowned at her. "This wouldn't have happened if you had been wearing the neural suppressor. It would have prevented the dreams."

Chakotay started. It had suddenly hit him – B'Elanna had told him that she was herself in the dreams, and that the man was someone on Voyager. And she had said his name before she had fully regained consciousness. Tom. Tom Paris.

Chakotay's mind reeled. Paris? She'd been dreaming about _Paris_?

He had a sinking feeling about all this.

The Doctor reactivated the neural suppressor as B'Elanna looked on, impatient to get back to work.

"I haven't established the cause of your dreams yet, but this should do for now. _Don't_ take it off," the Doctor told her sternly. She nodded, already heading out the door.

Chakotay walked her back to Main Engineering, searching for the right words to ask her about the dream, but he couldn't think of a tactful way to phrase it.

Captain Janeway was waiting for them there with some of the Zendirons, who were preparing to leave for a damaged Zendiron ship that they had discovered in the vicinity.

"Tom is taking a shuttle so he can help the Zendirons with the ship's navigational controls. B'Elanna, I'd like you to go with him and help them fix the ship's engines."

B'Elanna was about to nod in agreement, but then she caught the disapproving expression on Chakotay's face... and remembered his warning.

"I'm needed here in Main Engineering," she told the captain. "Carey should go."

"All right," Captain Janeway said. Adael looked disappointed, but he didn't say anything as he, Carey, and Paris headed for the shuttlebay.

B'Elanna sighed and looked to Chakotay. He smiled at her approvingly. He was concerned about her state of mind and thought it safer that she stay on board Voyager for the time being.

* * *

"Are you listening to me?" Chakotay asked. B'Elanna snapped to attention.

"Hmmm?" She had been thinking about Tom again. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Chakotay studied her for a long moment. "You haven't heard a single word that I've said in the past five minutes, have you."

"Sorry... I guess I was a little distracted."

Chakotay frowned. "I see."

B'Elanna was starting to get a little nervous. Did he suspect that she'd directly disobeyed him again?

"What were you thinking about? Maybe I can help."

"Oh, nothing important," she said hurriedly.

"B'Elanna..."

Uh-oh, she thought.

"Have you been seeing Tom again?" Chakotay asked sternly.

She started to deny it, but he already knew the truth.

"You have, haven't you. I can't believe you would deliberately disobey me like that!"

"Chakotay –"

"B'Elanna, he's just using you. Can't you see that?"

"No! That's not true!" she cried. She couldn't bear to hear him say that. Because some part of her feared that it was true.

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"No, of course not..."

"Listen to me, B'Elanna. I know what he's like. I've seen it happen before. He preys on naive, innocent young women like you..."

B'Elanna shook her head. "You don't understand. It's not like that at all!"

"What did he say to you? Did he tell you that he loves you? That you're the only woman in his life?"

B'Elanna didn't say anything. Of course he had.

"Don't believe anything he tells you. You're not the only one he's been visiting late at night."

B'Elanna started to protest, but Chakotay refused to be deterred. "Look, I don't blame you for getting carried away by all this. He's very persuasive and charming; he'll tell you exactly what you want to hear. But it's only because he wants something from you. And once he gets it, he'll leave you."

B'Elanna turned away. She didn't know what to think anymore. How could Chakotay say that?

"B'Elanna..." His tone softened. "I know this is difficult for you to accept, and I don't mean to be so harsh, but it's the truth. It would be best if you stayed away from him. Really. He's not to be trusted."

She was torn. She wanted to believe that Tom loved her, but... what if Chakotay was right? He usually was.

"I don't want you to have anything to do with him," Chakotay repeated gently but firmly. "Stay away from him. Is that understood?"

She sighed. What else could she say? "Yes, Chakotay."

Chakotay shook his head. He was going to have do something drastic to ensure that she wouldn't see him again.

* * *

In Sickbay, the Doctor regarded B'Elanna solemnly as he monitored her vital signs. She was unconscious again.

"I don't understand it," he muttered. "The neural suppressor should be working."

Suddenly, B'Elanna awoke with a scream. "NO!"

Chakotay took her hand. "Calm down, B'Elanna. It's all right. You were dreaming again."

"Tom," she said anxiously. "He's dead... and it's all my fault!"

"B'Elanna," Chakotay said firmly. "Tom is fine. He's not dead; he's on a shuttle mission, remember? You were having nightmares again."

"No..." She shook her head vehemently.

They were interrupted as a group of Zendirons, badly injured, accompanied by Captain Janeway rushed into Sickbay. The Zendiron ship had been attacked and...

"The shuttle is missing," the captain said grimly. Uh-oh, thought Chakotay.

B'Elanna burst into tears. Stunned, Chakotay went over to comfort her. She rarely cried, and this situation hardly seemed to merit tears.

"B'Elanna, what's wrong?"

"I should have gone with him... It's all my fault!" She was sobbing uncontrollably by now.

"You couldn't have known. It's not your fault."

"I never should have listened to you!"

Chakotay was taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"_You_ told me to stay away from him."

He stared at her, confused. He had said something like that on occasion, he remembered with a twinge of guilt. But he hadn't said it recently, certainly not to B'Elanna.

"It'll be all right," he said soothingly. "We'll find them." But secretly, he was worried.

"No! He's dead! And I loved him... " She was still crying, as Chakotay looked on helplessly.

The Doctor went back over to B'Elanna and Chakotay as soon as he had finished treating the Zendirons, who left with Captain Janeway.

"What's wrong with B'Elanna, Doctor?" Chakotay asked anxiously. "Why is she being so irrational?"

"She's confusing her nightmares with reality," the Doctor diagnosed. "She doesn't know which is which anymore."

"How could that happen?"

"Regions of her brain have become hyperstimulated. Somehow, the neural pathways connecting the memories of those telepathic transmissions became activated and altered. I'm not exactly sure how."

"Well, what can we do about it?"

"I don't know." The Doctor studied the tricorder for a moment. "Tell me again what you know about the dreams, Commander," he requested.

"Well..." Chakotay cleared his throat, trying to remember what B'Elanna had told him. "Let me see. In the original dreams, B'Elanna was an Enaran woman with a lover that her father didn't approve of. The father convinced her to stay away from the young man... The young man was killed... and the woman felt responsible for his death."

"I see... Just as I suspected. You said B'Elanna told you that the dreams had become altered, that she was herself in these dreams, and Mr. Paris her lover. If I'm not mistaken, you are her 'father' in the dream, Commander."

Chakotay did a double-take. "What?"

"It's the only logical explanation. You heard what she just said. I'm assuming that you didn't tell her to stay away from Mr. Paris. Therefore, it must be from her dream."

Chakotay stood there for a moment, sorting this out. It was possible. He didn't approve of Paris, at least, not for B'Elanna – he didn't think Tom was good enough for her. _It would make sense that I'm the father figure in B'Elanna's dream,_ Chakotay mused.

"So she blames herself for Tom's death? ... I mean, disappearance," Chakotay hastily corrected himself as B'Elanna wailed. "He's not dead, B'Elanna. Just missing." She refused to be consoled, continuing to sob. "B'Elanna. Calm down."

"I'm going to have to sedate her." The Doctor reached over and pressed the hypospray to the side of her neck.

* * *

"B'Elanna... how could you do this to me? I loved you! I thought you loved me..."

She screamed as the ghostly images of her dead lover continued to haunt her. "I _do_ love you!" she cried. "You have to believe me! I didn't know this was going to happen."

"All I wanted was for us to be together! We had something special, but it wasn't good enough for you."

Anguished, B'Elanna sank to the ground on her knees as the guilt overwhelmed her. "I never should have listened to Chakotay."

"I trusted you, and you betrayed me!" Tom accused her.

"No," she protested weakly, knowing in her heart that he was right.

"We'll never be together again... Good-bye, B'Elanna." The specter began to fade away sadly.

"No! No... I love you, Tom! Don't leave me. Tom!" She desperately sought to hold on to him, but he was already gone.

* * *

"Captain, I believe that the Zendirons' mental powers have been causing disruptions in Lieutenant Torres' neural patterns. It has come to my attention that her condition worsens whenever the Zendirons near her use their telekinesis. B'Elanna has been spending a lot of time with her Zendiron friend, Adael, and her proximity to the neural energy waves that Zendirons emit to mentally move objects have been affecting her adversely. I'm going to have to ask that all the Zendirons on board Voyager refrain from using their telekinetic powers."

The captain nodded. "All right, Doctor. I'll let them know. Is B'Elanna all right?"

"Well, she's still unconscious, but I've repaired the damage. She should be fine."

At that moment, Tom and Adael walked into Sickbay, nursing minor injuries. They had evaded the attackers and returned to Voyager with minimal damage.

"B'Elanna!" exclaimed Adael. He moved towards her, but the Doctor restrained him.

"She's unconscious. Don't disturb her. And _don't_ use your telekinetic powers!"

"But –"

As they continued to argue, B'Elanna slowly opened her eyes, aware that the throbbing pain in her head had subsided. But the dull ache in her heart remained. Guilt. Emptiness. "Tom," she cried out in despair.

"B'Elanna?"

She froze. She knew that voice.

"B'Elanna," the voice repeated. Confused, she slowly turned, only to see Tom at her side. Alive.

"Tom?" Not trusting her eyes, she reached out for him. He took her hand, gently helping her sit up.

The Doctor was saying something about nightmares, but she wasn't really listening. All she could think about was that Tom was alive and well.

"Mr. Paris." The Doctor waved the dermal regenerator in his hand impatiently.

B'Elanna sighed with relief as the Doctor finished treating Tom's injuries. He was all right.

"I'm glad you're all right, Tom," she said.

He smirked. "Were you worried about me?"

"As a matter of fact, I was."

Surprised, he stared at her. She was serious. "Worried enough to have dinner with me later?" he asked jokingly.

"Maybe."

She smiled enigmatically at his startled expression.

"Mr. Paris, my patient needs her rest," the Doctor said pointedly.

Tom wanted to say more to her but decided not to press his luck. Still looking a little puzzled, he shrugged and exited Sickbay. Her eyes never left him.

Sighing, Adael watched glumly. He had been tempted to ask her, "Weren't you worried at all about _me_?" but thought better of it. He recognized a lost cause when he saw one.

The Doctor returned to her side as soon as he was done tending to Adael's injuries. Adael unobtrusively slipped out of Sickbay.

"I've repaired the damage, Lieutenant. You won't be having those nightmares again."

B'Elanna sighed with relief. "Thank you, Doctor." She was about to say more when Chakotay came in to check up on her.

"How are you feeling, B'Elanna?"

"Fine." Physically, at least. Emotionally was another story.

"I'm glad to hear that." He smiled at her, but his eyes still expressed concern.

"Chakotay... I owe you an apology for the way I behaved earlier. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said –"

"Don't worry about it, B'Elanna. You weren't feeling well. I understand." He patted her shoulder comfortingly.

"It all seemed so real," she said, shaking her head. It still did, in many ways. She was having trouble sorting it all out. What did it all mean? How did she really feel about Tom Paris?

She had no answers to those questions. She feared that she never would.

Whatever else, she could no longer deny how much he meant to her.

(end of part 1)


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

a year later...

"_...by any means necessary." _

_The executioners flipped the switch, and the radiation burned through the prisoners... burning them to death. She stared at the charred face of her dead lover, horror wrenching her heart. It was her fault. She was responsible for his death._

"_Death! Death! Death!" the crowd around her chanted _

_She found herself chanting along with them, but in her mind she was screaming out..._

"_NO!"_

"B'Elanna. Wake up. B'Elanna!"

"NO!"

B'Elanna woke up screaming.

"Shh... It's all right. It was just a nightmare," Tom murmured, trying to calm her.

"A nightmare..." She shuddered as the violent images flashed in her mind again.

Concerned, he slipped his arms around her and drew her near. "Were you dreaming about the Mari again?"

She had been having frequent nightmares ever since the incident on the Mari homeworld. Every night, she was assailed by vivid images of destruction and chaos... a blur of violent scenes that she had witnessed and experienced throughout her life.

"So much violence," she said softly.

His arms tightened around her. "I'm so sorry, B'Elanna. We shouldn't have let them do this to you. I should have tried harder to convince Chakotay –"

"What?"

"I wanted to lead a rescue mission to break you out of that Mari prison, but Chakotay didn't think much of the idea. We kind of got into an argument over that," he said wryly. "After all these years, he and I still have our differences of opinion."

"But I thought that you and Chakotay settled all your differences a long time ago."

"Apparently not."

She frowned, clearly displeased to hear that. "I was hoping that the two of you had come to some sort of understanding by now. I didn't realize that you and Chakotay were still having problems."

"Don't worry about it," he reassured her, caressing her cheek. "Chakotay and I get along most of the time."

B'Elanna wasn't convinced, but she didn't pursue the matter. She closed her eyes, trying to block out the painful images.

"So what was this nightmare about? The Mari?"

She shook her head slowly. "Not exactly..."

"Then what?" He stroked her bare back soothingly as she sleepily rested her head on his chest.

"The Enarans," she mumbled.

"The Enarans?" he echoed, puzzled. "You were dreaming about those telepathic genocidal aliens we met last year?"

"I was having those dreams again... but they're different."

"Different? How?"

"Well... I'm myself in these dreams now," she said drowsily. "Before, I was Korenna..."

"Oh." Tom didn't know what to make of that. He was about to ask her more, but then he realized that she had fallen asleep again. Pulling the sheets up around them, he hugged her closer as he tried to remember what the original dreams had been about. He frowned. From what she had told him, they were extremely erotic dreams about a young Enaran man. He didn't like the idea that she was having sensual dreams about another man, a man who was not only an alien stranger, but also dead. For some reason, Tom was overcome by a sudden irrational wave of jealousy. He tried to push it out of his mind as he settled back into bed with B'Elanna in his arms, but it continued to bother him.

* * *

"Hi, B'Elanna." Chakotay greeted her with a warm smile. "What's for lunch?"

She made a face. "Pleeka rind casserole."

"Hmm. I hope the vegetarian alternative is better."

"I wouldn't count on it."

"Well, I'm about to find out. I'll be right back." He headed over to the serving line, thinking that she was probably right since Neelix had cooked it.

Leaning back in her chair, B'Elanna sighed. She was rapidly losing her appetite with each bite of casserole. But she had to save her replicator rations for a romantic dinner date with Tom later that evening, and...

"Aren't you going to eat any more?" Chakotay had returned to the table with his lunch, interrupting her thoughts.

"I'm not that hungry."

"You still have to eat," he reminded her. "It's not healthy to skip meals, and you've been doing that a lot lately."

She shrugged.

"B'Elanna..."

"I think I'm old enough to take care of myself, Chakotay. I don't need you to lecture me."

"I just care about you, that's all."

"I know. But you don't have to worry."

"Okay, okay." Dropping the matter, he resumed eating lunch. He knew when to back down.

"How's the vegetarian casserole?"

"Surprisingly good, actually. Try it. Neelix tells me it's also very nutritious."

She tentatively took a bite. "Not bad. Neelix has been improving."

"Have you ever thought about becoming a vegetarian?"

"No, I can't say that I have. I was raised on a Klingon diet, remember? There aren't exactly a lot of vegetarian Klingon dishes."

He chuckled. "I guess not."

"But I might have to consider it if Neelix keeps serving pleeka rind casserole..."

"Well, he does his best with what he has."

"I know. And I have to admit, this new coffee blend of his is excellent."

"Juice is better for you. It's not a good idea to drink too much coffee."

"Tell that to the captain." They both laughed at that. For Captain Janeway, there was no such thing as "too much coffee."

"So how's everything going?"

"Fine, now that we have the main computer processor back."

"You did a wonderful job re-installing it."

"Thanks."

"I know I can always count on you. You're a wonderful Chief Engineer. I'm so proud of you, B'Elanna." He beamed at her like a doting father, patting her hand affectionately.

She was touched. His opinion meant a lot to her. "Thank you, Chakotay."

"Everything else okay?" he asked as they finished lunch, and he walked her back to her quarters.

"Yeah. Except for a certain former Borg who keeps getting in way."

"You're still having problems with Seven?"

"Sometimes. I don't know what to do about her," she said with exasperation. "We just don't get along."

"I'll talk to her again. We can discuss it over dinner, if you'd like."

"Oh, I was going to have dinner with –" She stopped, catching herself in time. "With a friend."

Chakotay frowned. "You're not seeing Tom again, are you?"

"Well... not exactly," she hedged.

"B'Elanna. Don't you remember what I told you?"

She nodded. How could she forget?

"I don't want you to see him. He wouldn't hesitate to use you. He'll seduce you with sensual words and promises, but he doesn't mean any of it. He'll leave when he gets bored with you."

B'Elanna winced but remained silent.

"He has no respect for women. He only wants one thing from you," Chakotay continued.

She couldn't let that comment pass. "What makes you so sure about that?" she asked hotly.

Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think that he's any different from any of the other men you've been involved with?" It was harsh, he knew, but he had to make her see the truth.

Distraught, she turned away from him. She didn't want to face that possibility, but it had occurred to her as well.

"B'Elanna, I care about what happens to you. I'm just trying to protect you. You know that, don't you?"

"I know."

"Don't believe anything he tells you. You can't trust Tom Paris. He only cares about himself."

She nodded mutely, knowing that she would never be able to convince him otherwise. Especially since she was having difficulty convincing even herself at the moment.

After he left, B'Elanna paced back and forth in her quarters, trying to decide what to do. She loved Tom, but did he really feel the same about her?

One thing was clear. No matter what, she couldn't afford to let Chakotay ever see her with Tom.

* * *

The doors opened. Tom drew in a sharp breath at the lovely vision before him. She looked absolutely stunning.

"Like it? I just replicated it." B'Elanna grinned at him as she turned to give him a better view. The dress was a deep purple color, long-sleeved and flowing. The luxurious velvet fabric hugged her slender form perfectly and revealed just enough of her neck and shoulders.

Tom held out his arms, and she moved into his embrace. He marveled at the softness of the rich fabric beneath his hands, and of her warm skin as he bent down to kiss his way down her face. She arched her neck back slightly to allow him better access.

"Tom," she sighed contentedly as he continued nuzzling her neck, his hands roaming freely along her feminine curves. She let her hands wander over his muscular back as the familiar scent of him made her lightheaded with desire. His lips drifted to hers and captured them in a fiery kiss. They continued to kiss hungrily for several minutes.

"We'd better get going," he said reluctantly, breaking the kiss. "We don't want to be late."

She kissed him one last time, then moved towards the door. "Right," she agreed. "We can finish this later." She smiled seductively at him, her smoky eyes glowing with the promise of things to come.

Tom was tempted to forget about going to the Prixin celebration and start their own private party in her quarters, but she was already heading out the door. So he settled for falling into step with her and sliding his arm around her slim waist.

He was surprised when she pulled away slightly.

"We shouldn't be doing that in public, Tom," she admonished. "Someone might see us."

He nodded, disappointed, but he knew that she was right. Still, they walked as closely together as possible to the Mess Hall.

The Mess Hall was already crowded with people when they got there. While Neelix busily arranged the food on the tables, they chatted for a while with their cheerful comrades. Tom went over to get drinks for them and then walked back over to B'Elanna's side. She was staring at the door in consternation.

"Oh, no... Chakotay just came in. We can't let him see us together," she whispered in horror, hurrying off to the other side of the room.

Tom was left standing there by himself, still holding both drinks. _What just happened?_ he asked himself, in shock as he stared after her.

"What's the matter, Paris, did your date ditch you?" Freddie Bristow asked loudly from a nearby table. His companions, the Delaney sisters, giggled as though it was the funniest thing they'd ever heard.

"My date also happens to be my girlfriend, so I don't have insecurity issues if she leaves my side. Unlike some people here," Tom retorted. He walked off, scowling.

"Hey, Tom," Harry greeted him. He had given up on trying to talk to Tuvok, who still couldn't understand why the crew had not appreciated the beginning of his speech, which had taken him considerable time to compose. Harry noticed Seven trying to blend into the background, and shook his head. "I don't know who looks more uncomfortable, Tuvok or Seven. I tried talking to both of them, but they're not very talkative tonight."

Tom didn't answer. He was still irritated about Bristow's comment. Not to mention terribly unhappy that B'Elanna was avoiding him. Harry finally noticed that something was bothering him.

"What's wrong? You look like you just lost your best friend. And I know that can't be it, since I'm your best friend, and I'm right here," he joked, hoping to lighten Tom's mood.

"Very funny, Harry."

Harry tried again. "C'mon, cheer up. It's Prixin. You love this holiday. Time for celebrating with all your friends and loved ones. Speaking of which... where's B'Elanna?"

Tom stiffened. Harry suspected that he had hit a nerve.

"She's over there sitting with a bunch of her engineers," Tom said stiffly. "I don't think she wants to be seen with me in public."

"What?!" Harry nearly sputtered out the champagne he had just taken a sip of. "What are you talking about? She's your girlfriend."

"I'm telling you, she's afraid of being seen with me," Tom repeated.

Harry stared at him, convinced that Tom had gone off the deep end. "What gave you that idea?"

Tom sighed. "She won't go anywhere with me in public anymore. At first, I thought she was just sick and tired of people gossiping about her – about us. But then I realized that she doesn't want anyone to think we're together at all. It's just been getting worse. And people have noticed. Bristow was just... _commenting_ on it." he grumbled.

"Don't mind him. Bristow's just jealous that B'Elanna chose you over him," Harry reassured him. "Do you have any idea why she's been acting like this?"

Tom frowned. "I think it might have something to do with Chakotay."

"With Chakotay? What does he have to do with it?"

"Lately, B'Elanna gets really paranoid whenever Chakotay is around. Like just now. We were talking, and I went to get us some drinks... But then Chakotay came in and she panicked. Said that we couldn't let him see us together and rushed off to talk to her engineers."

"Don't worry about it, Tom. I'm sure it's nothing."

"I hope you're right, Har."

"Of course I'm right," Harry said confidently. "Hey, look. Neelix just brought out one of my favorite dishes. Let's eat!"

Tom had to smile at his friend's exuberance. Harry's enthusiasm was contagious. But Tom still felt slightly uneasy.

He turned and realized that B'Elanna was looking in his direction. Their eyes locked.

The look in her eyes was pure love and adoration as she gazed at him. He smiled back at her, letting the radiance of her smile warm him.

"Later," she mouthed.

He nodded to signal that he understood, then turned his attention back to Harry. That brief moment had been enough to reassure him.

* * *

Tom stood in front of her door, wondering what was going on with her. B'Elanna had left the party early without him. The last he had seen of her was when she had been talking to Chakotay. That wasn't a good sign.

"Come in." The doors slid open, and he cautiously entered.

"B'Elanna?"

"Tom. What are you doing here?" B'Elanna looked less than pleased to see him.

Uh-oh, he thought. He tried to keep his tone light. "I thought we were going to have our own private celebration, remember?"

"Oh. That."

"You're not happy to see me?" he asked, disappointed.

She sighed. "Of course I'm happy to see you, Tom." She moved to hug him.

"Good. I'm happy to see you, too," he murmured. She hugged him closer as he buried his face in her hair. "What happened tonight, anyway?"

B'Elanna shrugged. "Chakotay wanted to talk to me privately." She paused, clearly uneasy. "And I wanted to talk to him."

"And you don't want to talk to me?" he asked, feigning hurt. But secretly, he was actually wondering why she didn't want to confide in him, why she preferred to confide in Chakotay. "Don't you trust me?"

"I trust you. I just don't want to talk about it." She was tiring of this discussion.

Frustrated, Tom threw up his hands. "You're shutting me out again," he accused.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay? Stop pressuring me!" she said, her voice rising with her temper. She hated feeling forced to do anything.

"Okay, okay." He backed down, realizing that B'Elanna wasn't going to change her mind.

She turned it away from him abruptly. "Maybe it'd be better if you left."

"What? Why?"

"Well... Chakotay said he was going to stop by, and –"

Puzzled, he stared at her. "What does that have to with us?" She didn't answer. "B'Elanna, what's this all about?"

She turned away from him. "I don't want him to see you here. It would only get confrontational."

"Confrontational?" he repeated.

"Tom. Think about it. You and Chakotay have never seen eye-to-eye. And the two of you have been having disagreements lately..."

"Did Chakotay tell you not to see me anymore?" he demanded.

"Not in so many words."

"You're not going to let him tell you what to do, are you?"

"He wasn't _telling_ me what to do – he would never do that. Chakotay just doesn't want to see me get hurt. He only warned me because he cares about me," she said defensively, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

_And I don't?_ Tom wanted to ask. It hurt him to hear that Chakotay's opinion mattered so much to her. More than his did, apparently.

He frowned. "Look, I don't want to argue about this. Why don't I go now, and you call me after Chakotay leaves, all right? Then we can finish what we started earlier..." he suggested softly, hoping to appease her.

She stiffened. "Is that all you want from me?"

"No, of course not!" he said, exasperated. Tom couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was starting to lose his patience. "In case you've forgotten, we haven't spent the night together since you started having those erotic dreams again." A terrible thought struck him. "Is that it? You prefer your dreams over the real thing?"

B'Elanna was no longer listening to him. She was fuming. "Chakotay was right. I should have listened to him!"

"What?! How can you say that?"

"I think you should leave now," she told him coldly.

"B'Elanna –"

"GET OUT!"

"Fine, if that's what you want." he said tightly. He left.

* * *

The exotic birds of the Risa resort program continued their melodious serenade as Chakotay closed his eyes and leaned back in his lounge chair. This is just what I need, he thought contentedly to himself. A peaceful, relaxing afternoon away from it all –

"Chakotay."

Surprised, he glanced up to find B'Elanna standing in front of him, clearly distraught.

"B'Elanna? What are you doing here?" Chakotay asked.

"I'm sorry... I hate to bother you on your afternoon off, but –"She broke off, on the verge of tears.

"It's all right," he reassured her. He gestured to the chair next to him. "Sit down."

She obeyed, still sniffling miserably.

"What's wrong?"

"I – I don't know what to do anymore..."

"This has something to do with Tom, doesn't it," he guessed.

Tears filling her eyes, B'Elanna nodded silently,

"Oh, B'Elanna." He couldn't bear to see her this upset. "What did he do?" He shook his head. "I was afraid this was going to happen. When the two of you first started seeing each other, I hoped it would work out, but I had my doubts."

He would never approve of Tom, she realized with a heavy heart. It was just as she feared.

"You were right. I should have listened to you, Chakotay."

"About what?"

"I'll never see him again. I promise you that."

Chakotay was puzzled. "Isn't that a little extreme? I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding. The two of you can work this out."

B'Elanna stared at him. Was he saying that they _should_ work this out? That was the last thing she had ever expected him to say. Thoroughly confused, she turned away from him. She had to sort out her thoughts.

"B'Elanna, are you feeling all right?" He was starting to suspect that there was something else going on here. But what?

"I'm fine. I just have a lot to think about. Thanks for listening." She stood up and exited the holodeck, leaving him to stare after her worriedly.

* * *

"Computer, freeze program." Harry was gasping for breath, rivers of perspiration running down his face. "Tom, I really don't think I can handle another game of hoverball right now."

"Okay." He instructed the computer to initiate the Paxau resort program instead.

"I don't see how you can still play hoverball after working out in the Klingon martial arts program all afternoon," Harry wheezed.

Tom merely shrugged, settling into the cushions of his chair.

Flopping down on a nearby lounge chair, Harry wiped his face off with a towel. "Have you talked to B'Elanna yet?"

"She doesn't want to talk to me."

"I'm sure there's a reason for all this."

Tom snorted derisively. "Yeah, there's a reason, all right. Chakotay told her not to see me anymore."

"You don't know that."

"It's the only explanation that I can think of."

Harry frowned. "The two of you just had a little misunderstanding, that's all. It happens all the time. Just look at me and Seven."

Tom couldn't help but smile at that. "How are you two getting along now, anyway?"

"Much better. I've stopped asking her out, and she hasn't told me to 'take off my clothes' again," he said wryly.

"Give it some time. She just hasn't adjusted to human social customs yet."

"Don't I know it." Harry shook his head ruefully as Tom laughed. "The point is, we had a misunderstanding, but we cleared everything up by talking about it. We worked it out, and so can you and B'Elanna."

Tom grew serious again. "I don't know what to do, Harry. She really hasn't been herself since the Mari incident." He paused, deep in thought. "And if it comes down to choosing between me and Chakotay..."

"You're afraid you're going to lose her to Chakotay?" he asked incredulously.

"Not exactly. But he does have a lot of influence over her, and he and I don't always get along. She tells him things she won't tell me..."

"Sounds like you're jealous."

"Actually, I'm more jealous of this dead Enaran guy that B'Elanna's been dreaming about," Tom admitted.

"Talk to her," Harry urged once more.

* * *

Tom was sitting by the viewport, contemplating the stars when the door chimed. "Come in."

The doors opened.

"B'Elanna."

She shifted nervously. "We have to talk," she said, biting her lip.

Silently, he gestured for her to sit down.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper the other night, but my friendship with Chakotay is none of your business."

"I can't compete with Chakotay."

B'Elanna sighed. "It's not a competition, Tom."

"What's going on, B'Elanna? I think I deserve to know." He paused. "Exactly what did he say about me?"

She turned away from him, reluctant to answer.

"B'Elanna?" He watched her carefully as she stood up and walked to the viewport.

She sighed again. "He always warned me to stay away from you," she said at last.

A long pause ensued. What was he supposed to say to that?

"I see. And is that what you're going to do?"

"No, of course not." She smiled sadly at him. "I can't change Chakotay's opinion of you, but I don't necessarily have to agree with him, either. I love you..."

He held out his arms to her, wordlessly inviting her into his embrace, and she accepted. "I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to pressure you..."

"It's all right," she said softly.

Arms around each other, they remained comfortably cuddled together for a long time, silently relishing their closeness.

After a while, Tom thought to ask her about the dream again. "B'Elanna?"

She didn't answer. Thoroughly exhausted, she had fallen asleep. He carefully picked her up and carried her to his bed. His mind was still filled with unanswered questions and uncertainties, but fatigue was overtaking him as well. Tom closed his eyes, already half-asleep. Beside him, B'Elanna stirred in her sleep, mumbling incoherently.

"Tom..."

Suddenly wide awake, he turned to look at her, but she was still asleep. He frowned. He could have sworn that she had just said his name. But she was in a deep slumber, and dreaming, apparently. Must have been my imagination, he thought drowsily to himself. He closed his eyes again.

"Tom!"

Baffled, he turned towards her again. "B'Elanna?"

She moaned in her sleep, then cried out his name again.

_She's dreaming about me, _he realized in shock.

"B'Elanna," he said softly. She stirred again, returning to consciousness. "B'Elanna."

"Hmmm?" She had opened her eyes and was smiling at him lovingly.

"You were talking in your sleep again."

B'Elanna stiffened slightly. "Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She yawned, moving to sit up. "What time is it, anyway? Maybe I should go back to my own quarters."

"No, no... you don't have to do that," he said hastily. She looked at him doubtfully. "I mean... I don't want you to leave."

"All right." She sighed contentedly as he tentatively slid his arm around her waist. "I don't really want to leave, either," she murmured.

"B'Elanna... were you having that dream again?" He wasn't sure he really wanted to hear the answer to that, but he had to know.

"Mmm-hmm..."

"I thought I heard you say my name... were you dreaming about me?"

She blushed, refusing to meet his gaze. "Yeah, I was," she admitted.

"Really?" He was still uncertain.

"Well, of course I was dreaming about you. Who else would I be dreaming about?"

"I thought you were dreaming about that Enaran guy!"

"Dathan?" She shook her head, looking almost amused. "Why would I be dreaming about him?"

"You were dreaming about him before..."

"Only when the Enarans were here... and those were telepathically transmitted memories, not dreams," she pointed out. "I wasn't myself in those so-called dreams."

"You mean... you've been dreaming about me all this time, then?"

She still looked a little embarrassed. "Mm-hmm."

"Oh." That was quite a revelation for him. He shook his head and laughed, relieved. "I was starting to think you preferred the dreams to reality. That you preferred some dead alien guy over me."

"You were jealous because of my dream?"

"Maybe just a little."

"Well, there's no reason to be. You're the man of my dreams, Tom." She kissed him tenderly, a kiss which he returned.

But as they drifted off to sleep again, holding each other close, Tom couldn't help but think that though one problem had been solved, he still had some unfinished business to settle with Chakotay...

* * *

"With all due respect, Commander, if you find fault with me, I would rather that you just say so to my face instead of telling B'Elanna to stay as far away from me as possible," Tom said bitterly.

Surprised, Chakotay stared at him. "What are you talking about? I didn't tell B'Elanna not to see you anymore. I would never do that."

"What? But... B'Elanna told me that you said –"

"Is that what your fight was about?" This all sounded strangely familiar to Chakotay. An inspiration suddenly struck him. "Tom, has B'Elanna been having nightmares lately? Like the ones she had when the Enarans were here?"

"How did you know that? Did she tell you?"

"No, not exactly."

Tom was utterly confused. "What do the nightmares have to do with anything?" he asked suspiciously.

Chakotay sighed. "Tom, I know this is going to sound strange, but B'Elanna is confusing her dreams with reality. This has happened before. Last year, when the Zendirons were aboard Voyager. Somehow, the original dreams – the implanted memories from that Enaran woman – became distorted in B'Elanna's mind. The general idea is the same, but the people are different."

"I know. She told me that she was herself in the dreams."

"That's right. In the original dreams, the Enaran woman – Korenna – had a lover that her father disapproved of. It's similar to B'Elanna's nightmare, except that I'm her 'father' in her version."

"Oh." Tom suddenly realized what an idiot he'd been. It hadn't even occurred to him that _everyone_ in her dream might be different. "I didn't realize... I even thought she was still dreaming about that Enaran guy until –" He stopped. Until I heard her calling out my name in her sleep, he'd been about to say. "Until last night," he finished.

Chakotay was nodding knowingly. He seemed to understand.

Tom shook his head. "I'm sorry, Chakotay. When B'Elanna said that you told her to stay away from me –"

"I know. But I never said anything of the kind. She only believes that because of those recurring nightmares that she's been having."

"So you don't really disapprove of our relationship?" He was still uncertain.

"No, of course not." Chakotay paused. "I have to admit that I had my doubts at first, but the two of you are good for each other."

They regarded each other silently.

"When she first had the nightmares a year ago... I didn't approve of the idea at all. But things change. People change."

Tom nodded. "Yeah," he said softly.

"Come on. Let's go to Sickbay and discuss this with the Doctor."

* * *

"Are you sure her nightmares don't have any basis in reality?" asked the Doctor.

Chakotay averted his eyes. "Well... I might have said something along those lines before, that B'Elanna might be better off staying away from Tom," he said, looking guilty. "But that was years ago," he was quick to add as Tom glared at him accusingly. "I haven't said anything like that in a long time."

"Hmmm..." the Doctor said thoughtfully. "Well, that probably contributed, but there must have been something else that precipitated this. Something recent that gave her the impression that the two of you were having problems."

Now Tom looked guilty. "I did mention to her that Chakotay and I hadn't exactly been seeing eye-to-eye during the Mari crisis," he admitted.

The Doctor nodded in understanding. "Well then, that would explain a lot. It seems that the engramatic purge that the Mari performed on her has produced some negative side effects, including violent nightmares and the recurrence of this particular dream. I'll look into that, but for now we have to treat her psychological symptoms. I'll need your help for that."

"What can we do?"

The Doctor sighed. "You, Commander, have to be nice to Mr. Paris."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Tom couldn't help but smirk at Chakotay's baffled expression.

"Aren't I always?" said Chakotay mildly.

"I mean it," the Doctor said. "Compliment him on his work. Tell him how highly you think of him. You have to convince B'Elanna that you wholeheartedly approve of Tom and their relationship."

"Great idea, Doc," Tom said with a grin. He had a feeling he was going to enjoy this.

"And you, Lieutenant," the Doctor continued sternly. "You have to be more respectful of Commander Chakotay. You have to convince B'Elanna that you value Chakotay's opinion as much as she does."

It was Chakotay's turn to smirk.

Tom shrugged. "Okay," he said agreeably. "I'll try."

"That should help her distinguish between dream and reality and reduce her distress until I can figure out how to repair the damage."

Chakotay and Tom nodded.

* * *

B'Elanna seemed better, Tom noted with relief. Not entirely, but at least she was no longer pushing him away. He had been reminding her of all the positive aspects of their relationship.

"So, in these dreams you've been having, I must be really good in bed, right?" he asked playfully.

"Well... yeah." She flushed scarlet at the memory. "These dreams – they're the most sensual experience..."

"Better than the real thing?"

Her eyes widened. "No! I didn't mean – I mean –" She swatted him on the arm as he laughed. "You know what I mean!"

"Do I?"

"Would you like to hear about it?"

"I'd love to."

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "It's late at night... summertime, so it's still quite warm. I'm in my room sleeping soundly, when I wake up to a knock at my window..."

"Wait." Startled, she turned to stare at him as he left her side and went to the window. He knocked softly at it.

Realizing his intent, she smiled, then went to him. He enveloped her in his embrace, kissing her fervently. It had been weeks since they had last been together.

"B'Elanna," he murmured. He pressed his lips to hers more forcefully, enticing her to permit entrance to his seeking tongue. She responded, allowing their mouths to mingle intimately.

"The bed..." she managed to say between kisses. He lifted her with ease and made his way to the bed unsteadily. Breathless, they tumbled onto the bed, still kissing and tearing at each other's clothing.

She slid her arms around his neck. "You kiss my forehead, down my brow ridges..." She sighed as he did just that, simultaneously sliding the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, then past her hips. Tugging his shirt off, she moaned when his lips brushed against her delicate neck. She ran her hands along his muscular back, appreciating his masculine firmness.

He paused, tenderly gazing down upon the beautiful face of the woman he loved. Her eyes were brimming with desire, her full lips slightly parted...

"Tom," she said urgently.

"Hmm?" He caressed her gently, relishing the soft fullness of her breast. She gasped as he stroked the sensitive peak with his thumb, then bent down to suck it gently into his mouth. His hands began to roam over her again as he switched sides.

Writhing beneath him, she cried out his name as the delicious sensations overwhelmed her.

She dragged his head back to hers, intending to plunder his mouth, but he kissed her slowly, savoring each moment. She growled at him in frustration. Desperate to feel all of his naked flesh against hers, B'Elanna tore off the remainder of his clothing and pressed herself against his hard arousal, eliciting a moan from him.

"Tom, everything's a lot faster in my dream!" she informed him impatiently.

"Oh, okay."

She shivered in anticipation as his hands trailed down her body. His tongue teased her earlobe while she rubbed her legs against his.

Suddenly, she shrieked. His right hand had managed to insinuate itself between her thighs without her noticing and began to stroke the center of her pleasure.

Tom shifted slightly to explore her sensitive folds. As he continued to caress her, flames of desire coursed through her.

"Tom..." she said weakly.

He repositioned himself between her silky thighs, touching his lips to her center. She screamed, losing control as he increased the pressure, probing her hidden entrance with his tongue.

When she recovered, he had kissed his way up her body again, nipping at her shoulder.

She tried to glare at him but was unsuccessful. "That didn't happen in my dream, Tom."

"Sorry, I guess I got carried away." His tone was innocent, but his eyes glinted with mischief. "But this is supposed to be better than your dream, right?"

She shook her head in mock exasperation.

"I promise to follow your instructions from now on," he said solemnly. "Just tell me what to – B'Elanna!" He groaned as she slid her hand between their bodies and wrapped her fingers around his shaft.

"Ohh..."

She continued to stroke him to a frenzy.

"Tom..." she pleaded.

By this time, he was as desperate to be joined with her as she was. So without further delay, he plunged his hard length into her beckoning liquid heat. She cried out, arching her back to take him in deeper.

She moaned in frustration as he maintained his slow, steady rhythm.

"Tom, please... faster!"

He complied, increasing the pace. She screamed as his thrusts became more urgent, forceful. The pressure continued to build as they approached completion.

"Oh, Tom... I love you..." All too soon, the passion exploded within her, and she blissfully cried out.

The sensation of her internal muscles constricting around him sent him over the edge. Clutching her to him, he shouted her name as he found his release, flooding her with his hot seed.

"I love you, B'Elanna," he gasped.

Their union complete, the exhausted lovers collapsed on the bed, still holding each other closely. Satiated for the moment, they relaxed in each other's arms until they regained their breath.

"So, was that just like your dream?"

"For the most part." She smiled at him. "But there's more to it than that."

"There's more? Tell me."

"Okay, but this could take a while," she warned.

"Well, we've got all night..." he whispered just before his lips touched hers.

They certainly did.

* * *

Tom and B'Elanna had been sitting in Sandrine's for a while when Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay came in, arm in arm. B'Elanna tensed, but Tom placed his hand over hers to keep her from leaving.

"Tom, B'Elanna," Chakotay greeted them warmly. "Mind if we join you?"

"Have a seat," Tom said with a smile. They sat down.

"How are you feeling, B'Elanna?" Captain Janeway asked.

B'Elanna smiled. "I'm feeling much better, thanks to the Doctor's treatments and last night's 'therapy session.'"

The captain's eyebrows rose. "'Therapy session?'"

"The Doctor suggested that B'Elanna share the dreams with me, and we ended up going through them in detail, and –" Tom broke off his explanation as he noticed the expression on B'Elanna's face. She looked absolutely mortified.

Chakotay was trying his best not to laugh. The captain's eyebrows rose even further. "I see," she said.

It was time to change the subject.

"By the way, Tom, great job flying us out of the proto-matter storm in that nebula the other day," said Chakotay.

"Thanks, Chakotay. I'm just glad that Seven and the Doc were able to revive Neelix when we got back."

"Well, we never would have made it out of there if it hadn't been for your expert piloting, just like when we escaped from that planet of thieves." Chakotay shook his head. "I still can't believe they managed to steal our main computer processor and all that technology."

"I thought you handled that crisis really well when the captain was down on the planet. I'll never forget the look on that alien's face when you were interrogating him," Tom laughed.

"Oh, I couldn't have done it without your help."

"But it was your leadership that saved us."

As Tom and Chakotay continued to trade compliments, they glanced nervously at B'Elanna every so often, trying to gauge her reaction. Kathryn barely suppressed her laughter at this exchange.

B'Elanna was staring at them, open-mouthed. "Since when did the two of you form your own mutual admiration society?" She eyed them suspiciously, suddenly catching on. "You guys are just doing this for my benefit, right?"

"No, no...we're not." "No, of course not." They both protested.

"Tom really is doing an excellent job," said Chakotay.

"And I really do respect Commander Chakotay a great deal," Tom assured her, squeezing her hand.

"We don't say it often enough, but it's true."

"We really appreciate each other."

"We mean it," they insisted

B'Elanna looked to Kathryn, who nodded, as if to say, "They seem sincere enough." She smiled, a mischievous gleam in her eye. "In that case, don't let me stop you. I want to hear more. I could use some more convincing."

This time, Captain Janeway couldn't help but laugh at the sight of their startled expressions.

* * *

In Sickbay, the Doctor completed the treatment as Tom hovered nearby. It was almost the end of his shift, and he and B'Elanna had plans for the evening. "There. You won't be having any more nightmares, B'Elanna."

Tom and B'Elanna both sighed in relief. "Thank you, Doctor."

Congratulating himself on yet another job well done, the Doctor returned the hypospray and other medical instruments to their proper place, then headed towards his office. "I think we're done for today, Mr. Paris. You may leave now, if you'd like." He turned, only to find them gazing into each other's eyes. "Mr. Paris," the Doctor repeated.

No response.

The Doctor shook his head. "Tom."

"Hmm?"

"I believe your shift is over now."

"What?" Tom then realized that they were still in Sickbay. "Oh, yeah. Thanks, Doc."

Tom and B'Elanna strolled out of Sickbay, arm in arm, as the Doctor shook his head again, amused.

"B'Elanna." They turned to find Chakotay behind them. "I was just coming over to see how you're doing."

"I'm fine, thank you." She and Tom smiled at each other, practically oblivious to everything except each other.

Although Chakotay wasn't much older than they were, somehow they made him feel incredibly old all of a sudden.

"So where are you two headed now?"

B'Elanna smiled even wider, eyes sparkling. "The holodeck. We're going skiing."

"Lake Tahoe," added Tom.

Chakotay stared at them in surprise. Skiing? B'Elanna hated cold weather.

Well, he supposed they'd find some way to keep warm. "Have fun," he said with a smile.

"Don't worry, we will."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he called out after her.

She turned, arching an eyebrow. "That's not saying much, Chakotay."

Chuckling, Chakotay waved good-bye to the happy couple before continuing on his way to the captain's quarters. He had to admit, B'Elanna was right.

The End


End file.
